My Adoption Journey — quick thoughts…
I am currently sitting on a bed in a hospital room near Louisville, Kentucky listening to Bob Marley and watching my (BIG — 10.65lb!) baby boy sleep. Along with an engulfing sense of joy, I have a ton of thoughts racing through my head. Sharing some here:
As many of you know, I have been on the adoption journey for over a year.
This journey has been the hardest I have ever faced — mentally, emotionally, + spiritually.
- I have always believed family is more about love than blood or ancestry. Perhaps this is why adoption has always been on the table for me. I feel immensely fortunate and blessed to have such a supportive immediate family and also a large network of friends that are family. Without you, I would have not made it through this year — that is for sure. I cannot wait for Ryder to meet each of you and feel your love.
- In naming Ryder, it was very important to me to include a name that the birth mother wanted — which was Nathaniel. It certainly helped that Nathaniel means “Gift from God” (aka the Universe in my lexicon) — as I do believe he is one. I never want Ryder Nathaniel to feel like he was “given up for adoption”. We must stop using this terrible terminology. By deciding together on his name (and many other aspects of his birth), I am able to tell him the story of two women coming together to provide the best life possible for a child.
- Lest the above sound super easy and harmonious… communicating with a pregnant stranger in hopes of building a relationship that results in an adoption “match”, which then leads to a healthy baby AND a birthmother not changing her mind, felt like walking up a steep mountain made of quicksand with my heart in my hand. It required leaning into vulnerability and managing fears while consciously and consistently practicing non-judgment, empathy and compassion. Some days I did better than others, but I exit this process a better human (and parent) no doubt. I am so grateful that I found my calling in coaching and, in doing so, have been doing the deep work that guided me through this journey. Thanks to my coaches, coaching clients, coaching friends, and iPEC (“trust the process”).
- Ryder’s birth mother and I could not have more different backgrounds or lives. I have had all the privileges and she has had (less than) zero. This entire experience has only served to deepen my belief that we are all more alike than we are different. It’s just not that hard to find commonality or common ground. We should all try harder to be kind, empathetic and compassionate to one another.
- Calling all my tech friends… Adoption is an industry ripe for disruption. I love how much money is flowing into FemTech, including Fertility. If you know of companies aiming to improve the adoption space, please send them my way. I would love to chat!
DEEP LOVE AND GRATITUDE
Robyn, now aka MOMMY
ps — — My feeds will no longer solely be about startups and dogs. Sorry, not sorry!
